She sat down at the table and without anothercomment, began painting my nails. As if it were the most natural thingin the world for her to be doing. And like everything else she had doneto me, I offered not a word of protest. She finished and said, "There,see how pretty? Isn't it nice to be Mommie's little girl?"Yes, it was nice. I simply nodded, and she kissed me on my head.A few minutes later Pam said, "I thought we might go pay a visit to thegirls at Nordstroms. There are a few things I would like to add to yourwardrobe."I liked the idea of visiting Suzanne and Brittany; they were such fun,nice girls. And whereas a week ago I might have felt funny about wearingsomething out in public that might have been somewhat feminine, now I wasjust relieved that Pam would not make me go outside looking like a littlegirl! So, when Pam said, "Why don't you wear your blue shorts andstriped top outfit?" I was happy to comply.It was a beautiful, low-humidity, sunny day. We decided to. ..loved by...myself. For the first timeever....I love.....myself...." I felt myself start to tear up."Oh sweetie!" said Monica. "That's so sweet." She ran over to giveme a hug."I think...I'm gonna cry a lot," I said sniffling. "I think that'sgonna be a thing with me." It is with most of us," admitted Monica. "And you're only juststarting to feel out your new emotions, sweetie."I love it!" I sniffled. "I love being....vulnerable."Monica smiled. "I'm not supposed to say this before you've shown mewhat jewelry you pick out, but I think it's safe to say thereprogramming was a success. You picked the right dress, did yourmakeup and hair the way you were supposed to. And you had youremotional breakdown due to happiness along the way. It all looksgood."I composed myself and said confidently and rapidly. "The stackedsilver flower chandelier earrings and the giant silver flowerstatement necklace. Rings and bracelets are subject to however I'mfeeling at the moment and don't need to.
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